EDITOR: What's this story about John Key wearing a gay red shirt? Why are we printing this crap?
SUB EDITOR: You told us you wanted more stories about John Key sir
ED: Not this kind of story.
SUB ED: Umm...
ED: The kind people want to read! Dammit do I have to do all the thinking around here
SUB ED: It seems pretty popular...
ED: Something interesting dammit...like his mansion...I've been there you know, beautiful place, the toilets! My god you've never shat in such luxury. And the windows! Triple glazed you know
SUB ED:Umm sure...We've already run plenty of those though sir
ED: Well we need some balance dammit, we can't just run negative stories without a balance
SUB ED: I think this might be the first negative story we've ever run on John Key sir...
ED: What's the big deal anyway? He said he just meant weird
SUB ED: I think that's the point sir, he's saying that gay corresponds with weird
SUB ED: Like saying that if you are gay you are weird...
ED: You've lost me
SUB ED: He's saying...
ED: Did I ever tell you about the time I had to interview that chap the kids love. What's his name... Charlie Manson?
SUB ED: Umm...Marilyn Manson?
ED: Sure, girly name of course. You try and tell me that pansy isn't weird
SUB ED: But...he's not gay sir
ED: Well a fag then.
ED: Queer...fruity...I don't know, what's the bloody 'PC' word these days
SUB ED: Gay sir
ED: That's what I said the first time dammit
SUB ED: Yes but he's not gay
ED: Of course he's not gay, he's the Prime Minister of our country for Pete's sake. So he wore a weird red shirt one time, let's not make a big deal out of this
SUB ED: Of course sir. So shall we run a puff piece like the Herald did then?
ED: A what? You know this newspaper doesn't do 'puff' pieces. I want real journalism
SUB ED: We haven't run a story about his holiday home in Hawaii for a while...
ED: Perfect. Oh and do a follow up to that dancing ponies story. Let's cash in on the whole 'gay' thing while its hot
Meanwhile in the Fairfax Editor's Office...Part One